Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Shit Happens.

I have previously posted pics of my lovely well ventilated laundry. The laundry with the breath taking views. *sigh*
Please bear with me as I am about to have a whinge. and for me to whinge properly I need to explain exactly how you wash fricking clothes at my house.

I need to go outside. I need to check the tank to see how much water I have. If there is enough water in the 'house tank' ( this is the tank that is the easiest to use) I can turn on the hose, yes you heard me I can turn ON the hose and squirt water into the washing part of the twin tub. If the house tank is getting low*sigh* and it is. I can bucket the water from the 'big tank' into the washing machine. and this is a pain.. A great big fucking time consuming pain...

Ok, We are now assuming that the rotten twintub is full of water. Put 4 school polo tops ( no it isn't a typo I said 4) into the bloody twin tub and and turn the button. 5 school polo tops will make the twin tub stop washing and start tearing holes in the school clothes.. the wash cycle is 4 minutes. kick the twin tub. and click the wash button.. I am now Trapped.. I have to be close to the torture device.. oops twin tub or we wont have any clean clothes.. and my darling son will use this as an excuse NOT TO GO TO SCHOOL..

repeat this every three minutes or so..

assuming the school polos are clean, I put them into the spinner and spin the water back into the machine... Water is precious up here .. and expensive..

I put the school polos into the white bucket .. it is in the pic... and I pour CLEAN WATER, DRINKING WATER, SPARKLING WATER on to them and I attempt to rinse them... now 3 or 4 good dunkings in the white bucket and they smell less soapy. they look less soapy .. So back into the spinner part of the twintub with them,. I have another bucket to catch this water this spinning soapy water. not to water the garden with. But to be set aside to be used to refill the washing machine when it gets low...BECAUSE UNLIKE OUR POLITICIANS I AM LIVING WITH CLIMATE CHANGE.. and it sucks!!!

I put the next load of slightly dirtier clothes into the machine and start to wash again.

Are you getting the idea of just how difficult is is to do washing here?

Anyhow I was planting an olive tree this evening and I asked the son to carry a bag of sheep poo down to where I was digging the hole for the new tree and...


Apparently.. the bag of poo broke ACCIFUCKINDENTALLY ...


I should stop here....BUT I DON'T

Hows this for a hypothetical scenario?

Now if you were a teenage boy, and your mother was making totally unreasonable demands on you again*sigh*because your mother is a biaaaatch, and wants to so totally ruin your life... and, and , and,
Wouldn't you feel a teensy bit tempted to throw the bag of sheep pooat her.? oops I meant at the stupid tree she was planting... Because it is so UNFAIR
and it is only down the hill a little bit......AND how would she know anyways...

Unless the Bag broke.., OOOOPS.


Taz said...

what a total bummer..

that totally sucks..

apart from that..

i hope all is well..

Veronica said...

Hmmm he swears it was an 'accident'

Quote "I was carrying it on my shoulder down to where the tree was going to be planted and then! Just as I walked past the washing maching I felt the bag get lighter and I went OH SHIT! because the seal had come undone" Unquote.

However they are both very plausible stories.

I have to buy water this fortnight anyway, do you want to bring a load of wasing around?

frog ponds rock... said...

yes thankyou.I will wash your dads jeans and stuff.xoxox

Kelley said...

Accifuckindentally. Oooh that is totally my new word. I love it!

My, my, my, tsk, tsk, tsk what a potty mouth you have dear girl. *gaffaw* or should I say sheep shit mouth *snort*

Sounds like something my girls would love to do to me.

Hope you managed to wash his clothes in the sheep shit. He will have New Zealanders following him all over the place!

Yeah! Managed to offend Tasmanians AND New Zealanders in the same day!!!!

(those that don't know me, bite me. Ahem, I mean, I am just stirring)

baby~amore' said...

oh dear ... I have 14yr - David too who thinks the same way as your DS and he would love to throw it at me sometimes (well several times a day).

I can't imagine the fun (NOT) you have with your washing machine. I will not complain about washing again.

frog ponds rock... said...

Thanks girls I feel heaps better now...

I need to do some washing.. BUT there is still some residual sheep poo in the machine that I am avoiding cleaning out.. lol hehehe I have a sore foot..

Tracey said...

You deserve a medal! I could NOT go through that to wash clothes. We would be the dirtiest people in town.

Did you make The Offspring clean it up?

Don't you wish you'd done it yourself?

I don't know whether you intentionally made this story so funny, but I am breathless with laughter!

frog ponds rock... said...

Tracey, All medals are graciously accepted..hehehe. Actually it is easier to Wash here now that we have 'the pump' connected to the tank.

I cleaned the sheep poo up. It was easier that way.. cheers kim